Smoke Crack & Worship Satan

country_of_origin: United States
Uploaded: 07-11-2012
Length: 102 pages
Status: screenplay

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Logline: A teenage schoolgirl zombie, a femme fatale drug dealer, a violent leg breaker who's lost his shadow and a satan worshiping indie rocker all deal with love and relationships.

Synopsis: Colt has had a crush on Bette since he first laid eyes on her in middle school. She unfortunately doesn’t know he exists. So one night he lays out a pentagram made of duct tape and asks Satan for his help. The following day she unfortunately dies in a freak car accident. Ever since then she’s been haunting him as an undead zombie.

Now, years later, Colt has moved on. The apple of his eye is now his mean, but beautiful badass female drug dealer Dita. She’s mean, sexy and wants the money he owes her for all the drugs he buys from her. Which he doesn’t use, but it’s a good excuse to see her on a daily bases.

Dita is a no nonsense kind of gal. Especially when it comes to her booming drug business. She uses her loser boyfriend Dex to help her collect her money when someone refuses to pay up.

Unbeknownst to Colt or even her clueless boyfriend, Dita has a huge girly crush on him. The only problem, he’s way younger than her, and seemingly has a big appetite for drugs, which she helps supply. Not to mention the giant debt he’s racked up with her. He also belongs to this indie punk noise band she’s just absolutely crazy for.

Dita takes her and Colt’s relationship a step further, agreeing to be his girlfriend. But having to break up with Dex, she’s now down one leg breaker, so Colt has to take over. He agrees but finds the job way more difficult than imagined.

Ever since a car crash that ended the life of his high school sweetheart, Dex’s life has been a downward spiral. Besides losing his love, he’s also lost the ability to cast a shadow. Now he’s found himself in the role of the stalkery ex.

While spying on Colt, he finds out his terrible little secret, he’s been keeping a zombie in his bedroom. Not just any zombie though, Dex’s old sweetheart, Bette. The two were madly in love until one day after the prom, just being crowned king and queen, the two get in a horrific car accident.

The two try to rekindle what they had, but for the same reason Colt and Bette aren’t together, Dex is having trouble dealing with her zombie-ism.

After a run in with an angry client, Dita has to leave town. She asks Colt to go with her, but having a life of his own and a zombie ball and chain, he can’t follow.

In the end Bette and Colt still have each other, the way it was meant to be.

Plot keywords: , band , zombie girl , punk , love , strange , bizarre , satan , drugs , music , comedy , hesher , graphic novel

Notes: Scott Pilgrim vs. the World meets Hesher, crossed with the graphic novels Black Hole and X'ed Out.


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